The Scoop On Poop

It is one of Dr. Oz’s favourite topics.
He has devoted numerous segments of his popular TV show to the subject.
How many times we go “poop” every day.
When we go.
What colour it is.
What consistency it is.
Dr. Oz says our poop can tell us alot about ourselves.
How our health is.
Or isn’t.
Mothers can tell alot about their babies’ health by looking at their diapers after they go poop.
But even though Dr. Oz is single handedly working to try and normalize the topic of poop, we are still uncomfortable with it.
I know I am.
It is a bodily function that happens every day.
Sometimes, some lucky people are fortunate to have it happen more than once a day.
And I am sure I am not alone in wondering what happens to our “gift” to the porcelain gods once we flush it away.
Well, now I know.
Apparently, much of it gets spread onto farmer’s fields.
Who knew.
According to an article recently published in a local paper, it acts as a type of fertilizer, called “biosolids”, to help grow crops and plants that are NOT for human consumption.
(But it’s okay for animal feed? Have we learned nothing from Mad Cow?)
When we flush our toilet, it gets whisked away via the municipal sewer piping system to the local Wastewater Treatment Plant.
From there, it gets to spend a lovely 21 days becoming un-pooey.
Percolating.
Bacterializing.
Breaking down.
At the end of the 21 day period, it is nothing more than a brown, thick, sludge-like liquid.
From there, it gets taken away by truck to be spread, nay, carefully injected, painstakingly distributed, over acres and acres of farmland.
Far from Soylent Green.
But not by much.
I think it is absolutely amazing we have found a constructive way to deal with our waste.
That it can actually contribute in a meaningful way to the environment.
Imagine!
Whoever thought of that in the first place, and then invented and created a way for it to become a useful byproduct, should win the Nobel prize.
And so now, whenever I flush away, I bid it safe passage – and a happy journey to its final resting place – outstanding in its field.

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